About the Author &
Her Birth Stories
The short version: Between my hospital birth with an OBGYN, my birth center birth with a midwife, and 3 unassisted births at home, I would always choose to give birth on my own.
My goal is to empower you to give birth the way you want to by providing you with the resources you need. You got this!
The longer version:
If you’re new to unassisted childbirth, homebirth, or birth altogether, I want to welcome you to my website. My goal is to give you options for your birth experience.
Did You Even Know You Had Options?
When I first got pregnant at 19 (married young and got pregnant right away), I didn’t know I had options. I just did what I was told, which was to find an OBGYN and give birth in a hospital.
My first birth was conventional in every way. It wasn’t terrible compared to some stories I’ve heard. I didn’t have a C-Section, and I wasn’t forced against my will.
I was compliant. I was a “good” patient.
But the birth left me feeling empty.
- It took me weeks to bond with my baby despite having a successful breastfeeding relationship.
- I gave birth to a 4-pound baby, and I still had vaginal tears.
- I had an epidural and couldn’t feel the birth.
- I stayed in the hospital for 5 days and left in a wheelchair.
It wasn’t a triumphant story in any way.
With my second birth, I wanted to do things differently. After switching providers a few times and ending up with a doctor who loved interventions, I researched natural childbirth.
Even with the first baby, I had planned to give birth without pain medication. I never expected to receive an epidural. It just didn’t happen the way I planned.
But I still really wanted to give birth naturally.
I stumbled across midwifery, birth centers, and homebirths.
It took a while to convince my husband, but he agreed in the end. When I gave birth to my second child 10 days after my due date, I did so in a bathtub at a birth center without medications.
Afterwards, I felt more alive than ever before. I walked around, took a shower, and got presentable enough to drive home.
Years later, the shine of the new experience wore off a bit.
The midwife kept telling me when to push. The midwife-assistant checked my dilation a million times. And I still tore.
I don’t even remember my husband being there at the birth, because I was so focused on what the midwife told me to do.
I still wasn’t listening to my body or my intuition.
My third baby and first boy was born unassisted at home, with just me and my husband present.
That’s how The Unassisted Baby was born
My husband had no idea what he was supposed to do. This was great, because for the first time, I paid attention to my body and what it was trying to tell me.
Without a medical assistant present, I could be the expert at my birth.
It was liberating.
With the next pregnancy, I chose an unassisted birth again. This time, I also had an unassisted pregnancy without a single prenatal appointment. It was marvelous, because we didn’t even know the gender of the baby until birth.
And I didn’t have to undergo any vaginal exams!
Things were a little different with baby #5. I had an ultrasound to make sure I wasn’t carrying twins. I’ve regretted it ever since.
I continued the pregnancy without regular medical care. I continued my trend and had my third post-term pregnancy. And I still gave birth at home unassisted in my bathroom, while my other 4 kids were watching TV in the living room.
My 5th child actually graces the cover of The Unassisted Baby.
What Does All This Mean for You?
I want to inspire you to have the birth you want. I want you to think about your upcoming childbirth and visualize the experience.
What words come to mind when you think about birth?
Peaceful? Harmonious? Loving? Quiet? Warm? Calm?
I want you to feel in control. I want you to allow yourself to make decisions about your birth. You are the one who is giving birth. That means you get to decide who will be in the room with you when your baby is born.
It’s not about anyone else. It’s about you.
I hope my unassisted childbirth experiences inspire you and give you ideas for your birth. Even with my unassisted births, there are some things I would change.
I would request pictures taken. Of me and my baby. Of myself giving birth. I want to see the glorious experience. And don’t forget to take a picture of the placenta, too.
I would wait to clean up the room. Take in the experience and linger in the moment more.
And I would worry less. And enjoy the ride.
And always, always, I would give birth on my own terms.
My Birth Stories
Michael’s Birth Story at 43+2 – My First Unassisted Birth
Michael is my third child. I decided to give birth unassisted at home after disliking the midwives I found. I received some prenatal care until 20 weeks when we found out we were having a boy.
My husband was supportive of the idea of giving birth without a midwife present, but we didn’t tell too many other people. The pregnancy was uneventful, although I kept having irregular Braxton-Hicks contractions starting at about 39 weeks of my pregnancy.
When I was 42 weeks and 2 days along, I panicked. I thought I would never go into labor on my own, either because my body didn’t know how or because the baby was transverse (horizontal) breech. We actually went to the hospital that day, because no doctor or midwife would see me being so far along.
At the hospital, they confirmed the baby was heads down. Going there helped me wait him out, because it brought back memories of my first birth. I knew I didn’t want to give birth that way again with all those interventions.
More waiting, wondering, and worrying followed. On October 18th, we took our daughters to their Grandma’s house to celebrate my oldest child’s birthday. The kids stayed there for a sleepover, and that night I finally went into labor.
I was 43 weeks and 2 days along.
At midnight, I woke up with contractions and started walking. I really did not want them to go away as they had before. By 1 a.m., they became regular and were about 3 minutes apart. At 2.30 a.m., I felt confident this was true labor, and I woke up my husband and asked him to get our bedroom ready.
He laid out the tarp and blankets to protect the carpet and sterilized the umbilical cord scissors. At 2.45 a.m., I had some spotting, which excited me greatly, because now I felt very sure our baby was ready to be born soon. At around 3 a.m., my husband went into the girls’ room to build a Lego house for the girls as he had promised them. This kept him busy until 4.45 a.m.
The entire time I was pacing the hallway, and with each contraction, I would kneel and breathe. I could feel the intensity going up. My husband’s random chatter (he’s funny when he’s tired) kept me entertained. Around the same time as he was done with Legos, I was done walking around. I was tired, and I was not afraid anymore that the contractions would go away.
The pain got more intense, and I couldn’t talk during contractions. My husband mentioned the contractions seemed to get closer together. Then after a while I started getting the urge to push, and I also felt like I really needed to have a bowel movement. During the entire night, I had gone to the toilet to pee every 10 minutes.
By this point, it was very uncomfortable to be in the bathroom during a contraction. When the urge to push was irresistible, I started bearing down during the contractions, which now seemed to last forever. I screamed during the pushing stage, and I think my husband was worried about the neighbors.
It did not last longer than 10 minutes, and our baby boy was born at 6.16 a.m. In one contraction before the baby was born, my water broke. It was kind of neat to watch the little waterfall. I heard and felt the water break. It was a little like popping a balloon (much quieter though).
Then I felt his head crowning, and in the same contraction, his head came out, and his entire body followed in one swoop. My husband saw his hand after his head came out. I try to grab a hold of the baby, but he was so slimy that I couldn’t. He landed on the comforter beneath me, and since I was on my knees with my hands resting on our bed, he didn’t fall far at all.
My husband said afterwards it was like a personality change in me. As soon as the baby was out, I was gushing over him, saying how cute he was. My husband had a warm towel ready, and we rubbed him and wrapped him in it. Our baby cried immediately.
Unfortunately, the umbilical cord was very short and after a few minutes of cuddling him by my legs without being able to sit up properly, we cut the cord. I then got back on all fours to see if the placenta would come out, but it was not ready.
Then I nursed the baby to help the placenta along. It was weird to have the cord hanging out with shoestring attached (that’s how my husband had tied it off). I also couldn’t sit upright. Our baby latched on right away and after he finished nursing,
I handed him back to my husband. This time, the placenta came out easily and painlessly. It was interesting to look at, and I checked it out to make sure it was complete. Everything seemed fine, and I decided against keeping it. The original plan had been to put it in the fridge for a day or two in case we needed to have someone check it out.
I really wanted to cuddle with my baby, but I was a mess. During pushing I had pooped and with that and the blood, my socks were ruined (which is all that I was wearing at this point), and my legs were really messy.
I went to the bathroom and took a shower to clean up. Then I went to sit on our bed with plenty of pads under me and cuddled our new baby. During this time, my husband cleaned up, which was really easy to do. He just rolled up the comforters and tarps and put it all in a trash bag.
After he came back from the garbage, we realized that the umbilical cord scissors accidentally got thrown away with the rest of the stuff. We boiled a pair of scissors in order to shorten the baby’s cord some more. Then we used the clamp we had bought.
This birth experience was wonderful. My husband was wonderful. I think it would be difficult to have a baby without someone there. I didn’t have to worry about having things ready and looking at the time when our baby was born. He took care of all of that. And it was great to share this miracle with him and to have someone to talk to about it afterwards.
Our son Michael only weighed 7 lbs 10 oz, which seems tiny considering the length of my pregnancy. And the due date was accurate. The ultrasound at 20 weeks even confirmed it (it was only one day off by measurements).
I feel vindicated that I waited and didn’t choose an induction at the hospital. Clearly, he was not ready to be born. I feel bad for trying to make things happen sooner (I took castor oil a week earlier), and I am glad my induction attempts didn’t work, anyway.
Next time I will be so much more relaxed knowing that babies come when they are ready, even if they have to cook a little longer. I probably also won’t tell anyone my due date, since part of the problem was people asking constantly if I had the baby yet.
For more tips on how to give birth on your own, get a copy of the book!
Timmy’s Birth Story at 43+6 – Unassisted Pregnancy & Homebirth
I finally have a moment to sit down and write my recent birth story. Six days ago, I gave birth to our fourth child at home. This time, we chose not to receive any prenatal care. We didn’t even know the gender of the baby.
It turned out to be a healthy 7 lbs 11 oz. baby boy. His two big sisters and his big brother are all very excited that he is finally here. After all, he took long enough, having been born at 43 weeks and 6 days.
Waiting for a Baby
I had been having Braxton Hick’s contractions on and off for a few weeks since around the due date. Sometimes, I’d have a terrible pain in my left side that would go down into my thigh. However, contractions always petered out, even though they were sometimes fairly regular.
My estimated due date based on my menstrual cycle was June 21st. A conception-based due date would have been closer to July 3rd. Either way, baby Timmy didn’t really want to make his appearance as early as that.
My previous pregnancy lasted until 43 weeks and 2 days, and this baby wanted me to beat my own personal record. During the last week before he was born, I had contractions daily that would follow a pattern. However, as soon as I was tired of walking, they would fizzle out when I sat or lie down.
On Thursday night, my husband and I went to bed. Outside, a storm was building, and it thundered in the distance. I remember complaining to my husband about the baby not coming. He joked to tell the universe that tonight was the night.
I just chuckled, but I really was getting tired of being pregnant for what seemed like an eternity. Within a few minutes of lying down, I felt a rush of fluids. I went to the bathroom and turned on the light and was surprised to see bloody show.
It looked like a lot of blood to me, but in hindsight, it might have been the fact that blood in the water (in the toilet) always looks like a lot more than it is. I also didn’t have any painful contractions, which added to my confusion.
During previous births, I didn’t experience bloody show until labor was well under way.
I told my husband, and he got the room ready. This was about 11.30 p.m. He wanted me to walk to encourage labor to progress (at least he suggested it), but I felt exhausted and just wanted to lie down. I followed my instincts, and I encouraged my husband to go back to sleep.
Finally in Labor
I woke up at about 1 a.m. with more contractions. I also felt hungry and ate a few bites of toast. Contractions still weren’t painful, but I didn’t feel sleepy. Between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m., I walked the hallway a little, boiled scissors, and cuddled my one-year-old, who had woken up from the thunder and lightning.
I didn’t time the contractions. Eventually, I laid down again. The bleeding had slowed down, and I wasn’t concerned about it. The baby would come when he was ready.
As soon as I went back to bed, I had a powerful contraction. After a few more contractions like it, I sat on the toiled, because it felt better. I also woke up my husband. This was about 3 a.m.
He did a good job of keeping my mind off the pain by babbling about random things. Throughout, I had diarrhea. At some point, the pains got very intense, and I knew the end was near. At the same time, I wanted it all very much to be over. I also wanted to stay on the toilet, because that position felt okay, but I didn’t really want the baby born there.
Timmy Is Born
I moved onto all fours on the floor in our bedroom. After a few rather painful contractions, I felt compelled to go back to the bathroom. I had the urge to push, and I knew it was time for birth.
Logically, I should have stayed on the floor, but I felt compelled to go back to the toilet. I felt the head, and my husband helped me off the toilet.
He quickly moved the comforters into the bathroom and helped me down onto the floor. I was pushing and could feel Timmy’s head crown. It was amazing but really painful at the same time. I whined about the pain, but my husband encouraged me and told me it was almost over. And wasn’t it exciting to feel the baby’s head?
I felt my perineum stretch around the head. Then the head was born. The next contraction brought out the rest of our baby. Amazingly enough, the placenta followed immediately afterwards.
Unfortunately, we didn’t take a picture of the placenta, but it looked like a juicy piece of round steak. Timmy started crying within a short amount of time. After a little while, he latched on and nursed.
Eventually, I got up and took a shower while my husband held his baby. We cut the cord a little later, and I cuddled with Timmy while my husband cleaned up the bathroom. It wasn’t the location I had planned to give birth in, but at least it was easy to clean up.
Katie’s Birth Story at 42+5 – Another Post-Term Pregnancy & Unassisted Childbirth
In December 2016, I unexpectedly got pregnant again. I was ecstatic and shocked, but I suspected the pregnancy within a day of conception. With the new baby coming, we had to reschedule the planned visit of my family in Germany to avoid flying during the last trimester.
At the beginning of my pregnancy, I suspected twins, because my belly got big quick. While we were in Germany in the spring, I dreamed I was carrying quadruplets—all boys. The dream, along with other uncertainties in my personal life, drove me to find reassurance about the baby.
I scheduled an appointment with a German OBGYN. She performed an ultrasound and confirmed there was only one baby, most likely a girl. I think both the doctor and I were glad I didn’t plan to continue prenatal care with her.
Later, I regretted the ultrasound. I had originally tried to find a midwife who could reassure me about the number of babies just using her hands and a stethoscope, but I couldn’t find one. I hated that we already knew the sex of the baby ahead of time.
Every pregnancy and birth is different, even if you’ve given birth several times. This time, I had varicose veins in my lower right leg. It worried me greatly, because my mother had a thrombosis. On the bright side, varicose veins aren’t unusual, and my leg didn’t hurt.
Braxton Hicks contractions started at 34 weeks of gestation with this baby. Having pre-labor contractions wasn’t a novel experience for me, but they had never started this early before. It offered a glimmer of hope that maybe this baby would come closer to her due date. After all, this was my first unassisted birth with a girl baby. Supposedly, it’s boys who take longer.
At the end of August, about a week before my due date, I woke up with painful contractions. I even woke up my husband and asked him to get the room ready—I was so sure this was it.
After a while, the contractions simply stopped. I was disappointed and confused. The next day, I felt let down because I was still pregnant. I kept having contractions on and off over the next few days. They continued to be rather painful, so much that I had to breathe through them.
And yet, my baby didn’t want to come.
Braxton-Hicks contractions continued to show up daily, but they were less painful now. This pregnancy also continued past 42 weeks. Apparently, post-term pregnancies are my specialty. But at least, she came before 43 weeks. She was born at 42 weeks and 5 days.
One morning, I woke up with the kids around 7 a.m. Contractions started again, but I didn’t pay them any attention. They were my norm. We were working on a shopping list, because my husband had plans to go to the store.
I had to stop in between to breathe deeply through the contractions. My husband asked if he shouldn’t stay home. But I was sure the baby wouldn’t come anyway, especially if he stayed. But things picked up, and he ended up staying, which was a good thing.
The contractions quickly became more intense. By 8 a.m., I was in the bathroom—my planned birthing location. Our bathroom is spacious, and I enjoyed having the toilet nearby. I actually hopped in the shower, because I hadn’t taken one yet.
However, my husband had to help me dry off, because I couldn’t bend over with the contractions coming on strong. I didn’t even bother getting dressed, because I knew birth was imminent.
The birth differed from the others in many ways, especially with the time of day. All the kids were awake. We let them watch TV to keep them occupied and out of the way. Meanwhile, my husband sterilized scissors. He thought he had plenty of time, based on his previous experience with my births.
But by this time, I was already in transition and I yelled for him. He finally came back to me—not fast enough in my opinion—and stayed. With the other unassisted births, my husband was in the room with me, but I didn’t want to be touched. This time, I craved physical contact with him and held onto him. I even had the urge to bite him, because it hurt so much, but I didn’t (to his relief).
Then my water broke, and it was green. I was momentarily nervous, but I knew it didn’t have to mean anything bad. Yet I worried even as I gave birth to her. But she cried just like the others. I had the feeling she cried harder and longer, but my husband didn’t notice any difference compared to the other newborns.
As the ultrasound predicted, we had another girl—our tie breaker. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz. The birth was faster than all the rest. The first contractions happened after 7 a.m. My baby was born at 8.58 a.m. in record time.
I cuddled with her for a while and then took another shower. Only after I was cleaned up and cuddling with our baby in our bed, we talked about her name. We had several favorites, but in the end, we named her Katelyn, short Katie.
While I gave birth, part of me hoped the other kids would come and watch. I still couldn’t decide if I wanted them to be present or not. Later, my oldest told me Michael got scared when I started screaming. But she told him I was having the baby.
Michael came to look in on us while we still huddled up in the bathroom. Presumably, he didn’t like what he saw, because he didn’t stay long. Or maybe the TV was more interesting.
It took a while before the kids came to meet their new sister. I was glad to rest in bed and cuddle with the baby.